It can be but myself I crucify.
Be mindful of the attacks the ego can direct towards your brother for they can be concealed behind a facade of laughter and joy at the expense of true inner peace. You are quite aware when these slips into insanity occur because there is always an underlying feeling that something is not quite right. The guilt you unconsciously feel during these times comes from an unconscious awareness that you are attacking but yourself and then turning it around and laughing about it as if no harm were done. This is a great deception of the ego.
Behind the laughter the ego hides its true agenda from your awareness which is the sword of death. It is the ego’s goal to keep the Son of God’s mind trapped within the illusion and to crucify him and kill him over and over again. That is the only gift, the only goal that the ego has for you. It is pain and suffering and misery and death. You have allowed the ego to use the strength and power of your own holy mind against yourself because you believe in what you are seeing and experiencing. You believe that you are trapped in a world of misery and at times joy. There is a higher state of joy that can be achieved. It is the joy that comes with allowing the Holy Spirit to help you to heal your mind with the Light of Forgiveness within.
Excerpt from Lesson 196 in our Journey Through the Workbook for Students: Divine Messages