Where Jesus says in 11:1-3, “With this we start each day of our review”, Ken writes:
This is a plea from Jesus to make these review lessons the center point of your day and night. He would like you to be aware of how tempted you will be to substitute other gods – the ego’s idols of specialness. Underlying these words is his message: ”What could be more important than remembering Who you are as God’s Son, and learning the means that will return you to Him? Be aware of how you resist this learning by forgetting my words.” He echoes this instruction at the now familiar end of the manual for teachers:
“If you have made it a habit to ask for help when and where you can, you can be confident that wisdom will be given you when you need it. Prepare for this each morning, remember God when you can throughout the day, ask the Holy Spirit’s help when it is feasible to do so, and thank Him for His guidance at night” (M-29.5:8-9).
What is most important to you is the thought: “I am God’s Son, and therefore I am a Son of Love.” Keeping that thought uppermost in your mind ensures that everything in your day serves as background, rather than being center stage. Once again, try to note how quickly you reverse this perspective, and have these workbook thoughts recede in awareness and your specialness needs move to the forefront of your mind – but look at this ego investment without judgment or guilt.
In response to 11:5 where Jesus says, “And thus, when we have finished this review, we will have recognized the words we speak are true”, Ken writes:
Practicing this will teach us the truth of Jesus’ words. Recall the close of the Introduction to the workbook:
“Some of the ideas the workbook presents you will find hard to believe, and others may seem to be quite startling. This does not matter. You are merely asked to apply the ideas as you are directed to do. You are not asked to judge them at all. You are asked only to use them. It is their use that will give them meaning to you, and will show you that they are true.
Remember only this: you need not believe the ideas, you need not accept them, and you need not even welcome them. Some of them you may actively resist. None of this will matter, or decrease their efficacy. But do not allow yourself to make exceptions in applying the ideas the workbook contain, and whatever your reactions to the ideas may be, use them. Nothing more than this is required”, (W-in.8-9).
Where Jesus refers to “purpose” in 12:1, Ken writes:
The mind’s purpose is to choose again, which specifically means to forgive. The words themselves are not holy, but what they symbolize is: the memory that we can make another choice – the heart of ACIM. To choose again is thus our purpose, and the words but the means to help us achieve it. When students do the workbook, they often become so involved in ritual and a literal understanding that they forget that the words in and of themselves are meaningless. To reiterate this crucial point: the words only represent what is meaningful, and are intended to teach us we have two minds – wrong and right – and a decision maker that can choose between them. That is the purpose of every word that made a faulty choice and now can make a better one (T-31.VIII.3:1). ACIM itself provides the model and guide for how we are to use words, as we see in the following passage from the manual:
“Is the teacher of God, then, to avoid the use of words in his teaching? No, indeed! There are many who must be reached through words, being as yet unable to hear in silence. The teacher of God must, however, learn to use words in a new way. Gradually, he learns how to let his words be chosen for him by ceasing to decide for himself what he will say. This process is merely a special case of the lesson in the workbook that says, “I will step back and let Him lead the way.” The teacher of God accepts the words which are offered him, and gives as he receives. He does not control the direction of his speaking. He listens and hears and speaks” (M-21.4).
After posting my unloving thoughts and anger toward Alison, those feelings I experienced quite intensely, did weaken a little bit.
I talked to Bill for a while and he asked me why I insisted on engaging on private messenger if I were upset by it.
Honestly, I had already figured that one out. What is the payoff for my continuing to go there, when I can, to check on the posts among my three sisters?
It would seem thus:
I want to be unfairly treated.
I want to be ignored.
I want to be dismissed.
I want to feel badly about the situation.
I want to feel victimized by it.
I want to be the face of innocence so I can blame others.
I want God to get them, not me.
I want God to punish them, not me.
And on and on it goes and where it stops, well, it doesn’t, it’s all meaningless and nothing.
But I only get that on an intellectual basis.
“Shoulding” on myself when I am upset is purposeless. Well, no, it’s serving the ego’s purpose of perpetuating itself.
I realized I was in conflict between what I was feeling, that is, anger, yes, rage, self-righteousness, etc., with what I SHOULD be feeling based on what I have learned from ACIM and MiraclesOne.
There’s the rub. Where the “SHOULDS” enter, the ego has entered too because the Holy Spirit and Jesus do not operate like this. We humans joined with ego do.
I realized I had to go through the darkness by looking at the emotions that emerged even though I was wildly uncomfortable and wanted to flee from my mind.
I could choose to be with them as long as it would take to accept another option.
Given that I was feeling very guilty about being/feeling so unloving, I was ready this morning to entertain a solution.
After reading several posts, one from Rev. Deb and two others from fellow Thursday participants, thank you, BTW, I was inspired to move on.
Ask for help.
Ask how I can be truly helpful in this situation?
Wait patiently for an answer that may come forth in the most surprising, or not, manner.
Remember always that forgiveness, accepting the Atonement, etc., is a process. Remember to NOT skip steps. Remember just to relax and trust.
Finally, remember that my confusion, lack of clarity, indecision and feelings of internal chaos are related to my believing that things, people, circumstances “OUT THERE” are the cause of my judgment and interpretation. I react to the form outside, believing it’s the cause of my heartache when the true cause is a decision I have made in my mind to align with the ego, period. We all reverse cause and effect, we wouldn’t be here if we didn’t and…ah…it is this that I am finally questioning and now, in this moment, realizing Alison and others are truly and, indeed, my saviors. My goodness, what an epiphany!
Have a lovely day!