A few excerpts from Ken on the Review III’s Introduction, here goes:
“Jesus distinguishes between those situations that are really beyond our control and those that are not. He asks that we be vigilant for our resistance to learning ACIM and practicing these exercises. Again, he is not being punitive or harsh, nor keeping track of our practice schedule. Helping us to implement what he teaches in the text, Jesus is simply re-training our minds to think with him, than the ego.
As I have said, our success with the workbook comes not by practicing its exercises exactly as they are written, but by learning to forgive ourselves when we forget. This forgetting is a shadowy fragment of the original thought when we chose to forget God. As all time ahs occurred, and is ongoing within one instant, we re-live this unholy instant when we chose to forget God’s Love and Oneness, substituting instead our separated and special existence.”
We become aware of our original mistake by observing its re-enactment today, this very minute of choosing attack over forgiveness, guilt over guiltlessness.
You therefore need to see how quickly you forget the day’s lesson. Most of the time, if not all of it, you forget because you want to. Remember this is a course in motivation. You want to forget because to remember God means forgetting your ego. Jesus asks you not to feel guilty when you forget, but that you be honest when you do, telling yourself you forgot because you were afraid. Period. Even in an emergency, the chances are that even as you attended to what was needed, you could have managed a few seconds to hold the thought of another way of looking at the situation.
Jesus pleads with us to be mindful of our sneakiness. The serpent – i.e., the devil – has been referred to as the most subtle of beasts, and the ego, the source of the projected devil, is the archetype of subtlety. It is important to catch the clever subterfuges we employ in trying to escape from the “terrible burden” of peace ACIM “threateningly” holds out to us.”
In referring to 4:2, “You are unwilling to cooperate in practicing salvation only if it interferes with goals you hold more dear”, Ken writes:
“The goals we hold more dear are those belonging to specialness. Jesus asks us once again to be clear about the little goals we have valued over God. Our judgments prove we are right; and thus we do not value being told, and then asked to accept, that we are wrong.”
“We first become aware of our litanies to the ego – the values associated with specialness – and then we bring these unholy values to the holy value of forgiveness; the illusion to the truth. We cannot substitute the thought for the day until we are aware of what we are substituting for. The idea, therefore, is to be mindful of resistance – our ego thoughts, needs, and values. The lesson then symbolizes the truth, to which we bring the unholy illusion, without judgment or guilt. We simply realize we no longer value illusion, because it does not make us happy.”
Ever since I returned from Philadelphia after being delayed for two days by weather erupting here in Chicago, I have found myself in high/high/high gear, trying to make up for lost time. Business work, wrapping up our first quarter accounting work, staying on top of cleaning our house, attending to appointments, our doggie, etc., it all seems so overwhelming to me. I have played out this dynamic of setting myself up for disappointment, failure and disillusionment my entire life.
Ah, and it’s all specialness. Still trying to prove myself worthy. Yep, still doing that.
Still allured by the “serpent” as referenced by Ken above. Still attracted to sin, guilt and fear because I fear losing my individuality.
My goodness, such a vicious circle/cycle.
Such a treadmill. A little gerbil on the treadmill going nowhere, getting nowhere, but still moving its little body.
Above all else, as I wrote yesterday, I want to be honest with Jesus.
“Jesus, nope, don’t want to hear from you, nope, I do not. Too busy today for you. Maybe tomorrow. Don’t want you telling me to slow down and look around. Don’t want you to tell me my goals are nothing. That all my activity is nothing. Don’t care if I read or sort of know that you’re kind, gentle and patient. Not today, Jesus. Just please leave me alone.”
That’s what I do, not consciously, but by my driving myself through any given day, that’s what I am proclaiming.
Hey, at least I am becoming aware of my own folly.
Have a lovely day!