Oh well, I just accidentally deleted every email I had saved in my inbox for future reference. I pray that none of you wrote something to me that I was saving was deleted among the 100 or so in that folder.
Ah, the forgiveness opportunities abound, do they not?
OK, to move on.
From Ken on today’s lesson, I believe he was writing to me, kidding, here goes for some excerpts:
With respect to the first sentence, paragraph two, he writes:
“This sentence is important in counteracting Course “blissninnies.” Our teacher is telling us it is difficult to help us realize that everything we believe about ourselves is “based on nothing.” Once again, this is a process, conducted by Jesus in a gentle, patient way. Our fear – first of confronting the ego’s truth of sin and guilt, and the deeper fear of the real truth – is what makes approaching the Love of God so difficult.”
To “That you have sought salvation in strange ways; have been deceived, deceiving and afraid of foolish fantasies and savage dreams; and have bowed down to idols made of dust, – all this is true by what you now believe” (2:2-3), he writes:
“Jesus speaks to us once again about our need for honesty, and his good news: ““You no longer have to pretend that light and joy and peace abide in you. I know that deep down you know, so you will now know that I know that you know that you nonetheless think you are the home of evil, darkness, and sin. Let us being with your “facts”, and then move beyond them to the truth.”” In other words, there is no need to pretend we are not creatures of specialness, dedicated to preserving our special selves by feeding off other special selves. Without the need to pretend, there will be no guilt, for we shall have brought our specialness to Jesus’ love, thereby letting it go.”
He continues with:
“In effect, Jesus tells us: “”Do not drag me down to where you are, but come to where I am. From your reference point – the battleground – you will understand nothing. In order to join me, you must have the humility that says: “”Thank God I am wrong, and with this recognition I choose you as my teacher because I know you are wiser than I.”” Jesus calls this reference point “above the battleground”, the place to which we go with him to look differently at our special relationships, and in which we choose forgiveness instead of attack, miracles instead of murder.”
OK, where Jesus states, “have been deceived”, etc., above, do any of you believe you are the ONLY one who has been deceived, deceiving, etc.? My goodness, I believe I have. I believe I have believed I was the “worst, most sinful” person on the planet as all I have done in the past is stayed stuck in it…at the ego’s bidding. Such grandiosity, huh? I found myself comforted by rereading that passage as we all have been there, done that, it’s the way of this seeming world.
Ah, above the battleground, such a lovely section in the text and it’s easy to understand, I will revisit it.
OK, just a few more excerpts and off I go to walk Gracie:
Where Jesus states, “Therefore, this self does not exist at all”, Ken writes and this is powerful for me:
“ONCE AGAIN, THIS IS WHY TO STUDY ACIM, YOU NEED TO BE SERIOUS AND COMMITTED (emphasis is mine). This does NOT mean you commit to letting go of your ego, but simply to look at what the ego is. Jesus only asks that you look. Do not seek to change, correct, or let it go. Just look, a process that will gradually end your ego identification, for the self that looks is not the self that is looked at. Thus is your identity returned to the decision-making part of your mind and away from the ego.”
“Our deeply rooted belief in this self prevents the experience of our sinlessness. To make this essential point once again, the ego self will not just disappear by our repeating lovely phrases. Its undoing requires hard work and commitment, for the resistance to looking at this evil self is enormous.”
I admit I experience a lot of resistance, I admit I am attached to the identity I have made. I admit it all, I want to be wrong about everything, however, I recognize that it’s a slow and gentle process of undoing so I don’t become terrified of love. I need not try to rush the process. I need not try to change, correct or let the ego go, see above. It’s really all about being mindful, just observing the ego’s shenanigans from a place of detachment and non-judgment. The more I can do that, just notice what is going on in my mind, not fighting it, but noticing it with some deep breaths, then I can ask Jesus to help me, stand with me, be with me, hold my hand as I ask him to help me release it.
Have a lovely day!