Thoughts with Gayle: Lesson 78

Hi there,

For some “odd” reason, I feel compelled to write about what it has been like to be an identical twin.  Lynne and I are mirror twins, all that means is if she and I were to face one another, she, being left-handed, and I, being right-handed, we reflect identical images back to one another.  We are mirror images of one another.

When she and I were growing up, all seemed to be well until we hit high school.  As we both emerged in our respective niches, our friends and acquaintances began to compare us.

I cannot speak to what people said about me to Lynne, but there were some who told me I was smarter, more successful, etc., than she was and I suspect Lynne’s friends told her she was prettier and more sociable, don’t know.  I did study harder, got excellent grades, was an officer in numerous clubs and activities, etc., and Lynne focused on dressing well and being attractive.  You know I am oversimplifying this, I hope.  It wasn’t that black and white.

What appeared to make our differences more challenging was our Dad harping on them too.  As a child who was brought up in the depression, he used to tell us that there was never enough food when they, he and his sister, grew up.  They didn’t starve, but he wasn’t satiated, evidently.  As his medical practice prospered, our family went out for dinner at least twice a week and he loved Chinese food.  One night, Lynne and I were seated opposite him and he began a tirade about how if she and I were one person instead of two, that would be perfect as I was the “scholar”, Lynne, the more social butterfly and we just hadn’t figured out how to do it all.  Tears streamed down my face, I don’t know if Lynne were crying, but I will never forget that evening, never, as it felt as though this “huge and insurmountable” wedge/wall/block to the two of us getting along was now as steel.

Up to about four years ago, Lynne and I didn’t get along, our younger sisters still compared us and they favored me, calling Lynne, the “evil” twin and I was her opposite.

When Lynne’s daughter, Lindsay, who has lived in Chicago now for seven years, got engaged, she and I must have decided in silent concert that it was time to lay all our grievances aside and spend quality time mending the seeming steel fences between us.

It’s taken that long to establish a bond of trust and love for one another.  Our younger sisters still compare us, it bothers us not.  It is what it is.

Today’s lesson is among those I have practiced for years to get beyond my grievances, to get beyond the body, to get above the battleground to healing.  To learn to trust that we are both beloved of God, that the differences that felt so real for decades were absolutely nothing.  That it didn’t matter who thought what about us, it didn’t matter if Mom and Dad compared us, it just didn’t matter.

For all of you who have experienced sibling rivalry in any form, you, no doubt, can relate to what I wrote.

For whatever reason Lynne and I wrote our respective scripts, to separate rather than to join, we have managed to forge what was a very special relationship in the process of being transformed to a holy one by the Holy Spirit.  She doesn’t study ACIM, but our joining through this Course matters not either.  It takes but one, one to be willing to ask for help and then accept what is already there for the taking.

Practice today, all of you, I will too.  This helps me to remember that everyone is my savior from separation and darkness, that everyone is a gift to me if I am willing to accept the light behind every grievance, no matter how seemingly small or large.

Have a miracles-filled day!

Love,

Gayle