We are experiencing a colder day today here in Chicago, 39 degrees will be in the high, yesterday was low to mid-60s, go figure.
Isn’t that life in this madness of a world though?
We are often grabbed by the “posterior”, won’t use another term this AM, by variables in the weather, situations, individuals, we are caught off guard, dumbfounded, surprised by occurrences or outbursts beyond our seeming control. And, of course, they often are, but ah, it’s a big AH, we can choose to be unaffected by the calamities that the world seemingly presents.
On the news this AM was a “terrorist” attack on two mosques in New Zealand, allegedly, but it appears the perpetrator was caught along with several others, 49 are dead, many were wounded.
What can I do? I can pray to the Christ in the “victims” and, also, for their persecutors, can’t I?
God’s will is that we be happy, full of joy and peaceful.
It is my will too, your will, certainly, as well.
Last night in our lovely Thursday evening program, Rev. Deb taught us about the role of the Holy Spirit, other areas of study will be forgiveness and miracles this eight week program upon which we are embarking. There’s still time for YOU to enroll if you haven’t already done so.
What I realized, it was sort of shocking last night, was that I am still intent on studying ACIM “my” way, meaning the way in which I am led down the rabbit hole with the ego.
I am still intent on having to understand before I buy into practicing a given lesson. I am still intent on intensely studying, referencing Ken’s volumes on the WB, there are eight of them covering all 365 lessons, etc. There is this compelling need within me to feel safe by doing all of this and it appears I am unwittingly sabotaging and delaying meaningful practice.
Ah again, so I see much more clearly that the ego will attempt to thwart any attempts I made toward true peace and joy. Kind of scary, but it need not be.
I am now more aware of it.
I didn’t compulsively prepare for today’s lesson late last night.
I don’t need to be on guard, I don’t need to appear as though I am buttoned-down in my practice. I don’t need to pretend anything.
I stated that my intention for the program that began last night was to have an open heart and an open mind.
That’s “huge” for me. In other words, I drop the need, the compulsion, the idol of understanding to receive and then extend the love of God.
BTW, I will probably revisit The Test of Truth in the text where Jesus states we are kidding ourselves, essentially, if we feel the need to understand anything because, in truth, we cannot understand anything anyway.
This is a journey in trust.
One baby step at a time.
Have a peaceful day!