Good morning!

Jesus is teaching us that to get in touch with our holiness means to get beyond time, space, distance and limits of any kind, reference to first sentence in this lesson, we no longer push Him away.  We no longer listen to the insanity of the ego’s voice which is forever, “Seek and do not find” and we realize that trying to make a go on our own on this very dense planet just doesn’t work.

It certainly has not for me.

I spent most of my life trying to prove I were worthy.  I honestly thought excelling in high school and college was the “superior” thing to do.  I thought going to a prestigious college where the standards were absurdly high was the “superior” thing to do.  I use that word because it connotes separation, does it not?  And that’s what I was into, just didn’t realize it.

Working professionally because Bill and I had no children, I “climbed” the ladder, wanting higher levels of responsibility, prestige, status, stature and compensation.  I did well overall in my career, sure I made a ton of mistakes and clearly could have been a better leader, manager, etc., but I did feel a sense of accomplishment, of having arrived until I didn’t…and that time ALWAYS comes!

Anyhow, I could offer you many more examples of my needing to stand out, stand apart, be recognized.  Why bother?  Certifications, etc., that gave me enormous gratification at the time, don’t mean anything because when I achieved them, peace, at the time, was not on my radar.  That’s not to write that it was wrong, I was just lost as to what their purpose was, bottom line.

When my 38 year old niece died last year, my younger sister’s only child, it was indescribably painful.  I won’t go into it as I covered it in great detail as Melissa was dying and died.  As I reflect on this very difficult time in our lives, I see that I was unable to get above the battleground, unable to apply this lesson to what we all observed in her increasing debilitation, paralysis and ultimate and untimely death.  We all felt it all to be so unfair, so unjust, etc.  Typical dynamics of the ego.

That is NOT to suggest I am now a blissninny at all, not at all.  But I get that we are holy, we are a part of God’s mind, we can extend our holiness to everything we see, we can bless everything we see and we can apply Lesson 38 to everything from which we suffer or anyone else suffers because there is no order of difficulty in miracles and no hierarchy of illusions, period.

Whatever I am struggling with today, it will be integrated into my practice. For example, I am preparing for tonight’s Thursday class with MO.  Over the last month or so, we have been assigned an abundance of readings to reinforce what Rev. Deb is teaching us.  I found the sheer number overall to be daunting.  SOOOO…I incorporated this lack of clarity and feeling overwhelmed into my practice.

For HEAVEN’S SAKE, here I go trying to excel again or demonstrate I have done the assignments.  Ah, you see how slippery and insidious the ego thought system can be….unbelievable?!

OK, onward and upward I go.  My practice today is my numero uno priority!

Love you all,

Gayle

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