Thoughts with Gayle: Lesson 32

Hi everyone,

I found Ken Wapnick’s take on this lesson most helpful, hope you do too!  Here goes:

“I am not a victim of the world I see because I am the victim of my thoughts, which made up this world. Looked at from a metaphysical point of view, my entire life—from birth to death—is my dream; the script of victimization I wrote to accomplish the ego’s purpose.  As we have already seen, this purpose is to keep my individual existence, but split off my belief in sin by projecting it onto others.  If my life is my dream, my play, my script, then I am obviously its author.  Thus am I a victim of my own script-writing.  In truth, the decision maker identified with the ego—the part of my split mind that identifies with separation—wrote this script to teach that the world is a prison and everyone in it is my jailor.  When I invite Him in, the Holy Spirit joins me there to teach me this world can now become a classroom in which I learn I made it up.  He teaches me further why I did so: to protect my individuality and specialness.  Therefore, because I made it up, because I invented the world I see, I can change it.”

“I merely change my decision by dropping the ego’s hand and taking his instead.  It is very simple.  What makes it difficult to do is its implication: if I do this, I will disappear as I know myself, and then who will I be?  That is the fear.  Our task is to allow ourselves to get in touch with that fear, and then watch the insane defenses we choose to protect ourselves against something that is not there anyway.”

And as he speaks to the last paragraph of this lesson, he writes and this is very powerful:

“You can see how radically different this is from the world’s view, from how we normally perceive things.  We think choosing either our inner or outer world does make a difference.  This would be apparent, for example, when we conclude that what we think does not matter as long as we do not say or act on it.  Jesus, though, is explaining that it makes no difference whether we express our thoughts or silently think them.  Our judgments has as much effect on us and the mind of the Sonship as do our acting them out.  It is fine not to act them out—he once told Helen (Schucman) that he was not against a certain amount of discipline—but if we do not change the underlying thinking, these thoughts simply remain in our minds, awaiting their inevitable fate of projection.  The consequences are that we shall always be fighting the losing battle of trying to curtail our aggression: the mind’s hostility and specialness.  Therefore, we need to go the source of the problem—our thoughts—which was having turned to Jesus, saying, “You are wrong and I am right.”  Undoing that source is telling him: “Thank God you were right and I was wrong.  There is another way of looking at the world.”

This last paragraph really grabbed me.  How often have I experienced an attitude of “superiority”, if you will, probably NOT the right word, oh well, when I have chosen not to express my anger, hostility, rage, etc.?  I have judged others who I have felt are far too vocal, hurtful, blunt, direct, harmful, etc.  This is my being totally honest.  What I am getting is that it doesn’t matter if I don’t spew forth, what matters is looking at my thoughts and asking for help in letting them go.  Lesson 23 comes to mind here.

That’s enough for today.

Hope it’s lovely for you!

Much love,

Gayle