Well, today’s a better day! I am blessed to participate in many different offerings from MiraclesOne, our Wednesday study group during the day, our Thursday evening classes, podcasts with Rev. Deb and Mari, daily Workbook calls every single morning 365 days a year, etc. Oh, and I wish to acknowledge, also, the blessing of being able to post my thoughts, many of which are unloving and convoluted, with all of you!
It is only when I am fully and totally willing to share everything, all those deep and painful memories and distortions, fantasies and hallucinations, that I am ready to allow Him to transform everything into light, truth and love.
It is easy to share what I want you to know about me and my attachment to my identity as Gayle Bartlett. It is challenging, however, to share those heinous, vicious and unloving thoughts of condemnation, crucifixion and judgment and that’s what I have been doing. Not for all of you although that is an integral part of the equation, but for myself.
The Holy Spirit through Jesus admonishes us to bring everything to him so even though I am attached to certain aspects of my identity as though I would die without them, I am ready to do this as many of you are witnessing.
If judgment comes up in your minds, so be it. It’s not my work to deal with, it is yours and I may present many forgiveness opportunities to you if you do find yourselves wondering how I could be intently studying ACIM and still be so mired in the ego thought system?
Ken Wapnick says as long as we’re seemingly here on planet Earth, we have moment to moment decisions to choose ego or Holy Spirit, period. The only goal we should have is to increase the amount of time we feel/experience the peace and Love of God, it, the amount of time, may only increase from 15 to 30 minutes a day, doesn’t matter, that is true progress, again, period.
SO…I will still be terrified/fearful/judgmental/condemnatory, it’s OK, it’s always OK. Jesus leads us on a gentle journey as the fear of awakening is intense, acute and palpable.
Today’s lesson is a doozy! Jesus encourages us to release all personal goals, this means everything because it’s only we who have given them their meaning anyway and there is no meaning but that of God. Goals aren’t good or bad or right or wrong, they’re meaningless if we are not choosing Him and His guidance.
Last night, I shared I have explored countless modalities/plans/regimens, etc., to feel better. You name it, keto, vegan, vegetarianism, etc., even the “new” plant paradox system, and I have found none of them to be sustainable. I do this not for me, I am actually too thin in worldly terms, really, but for Bill as even though he’s tall and not really overweight at all, he can easily add pounds/girth to his belly and he’s out in the public every single day. I do it for him and even though we’ve managed to embrace the keto regimen for well over a year, slowly but surely, we crave carbs and abandon it.
Just one example of the insanity of the body seemingly doing its beckoning when it’s the mind working through the body as a result of listening to the ego’s demands of “seek and never find.”
The solution, relinquish the need to orchestrate what we eat and trust we will be guided to consuming what is best for optimal health so that our bodies can be used strictly in His service, to commune, communicate most lovingly and harmlessly with those with whom we interact.
I love you all.