I do not perceive my own best interests. How many times did I think I did throughout my life? I have an extensive list and all that has been laid waste because of it.
I thought I knew the outcomes that would ensure me the most happiness. The problem? “I thought.”
The “I thought” is the premise for discord in my life. I can think of countless experiences that my reasoning became the product not of happiness, but unhappiness.
Let’s take relationships for one. I am in my fourth marriage, yet the longest. The search for contentment outside of myself, left me cold, alone, abused and humiliated. Thankfully, my marriage with Paul is my longest and happiest. Of course that doesn’t mean we don’t agree on every single thing, including A Course in Miracles!
What it does reveal is my purpose for relationships had changed. When we made our vow, it was to allow the relationship to be a vehicle for healing, and so it has. One can do this regardless if one’s partner is an ACIM student or not. Can I allow everything in the relationship to be a forgiveness opportunity? These opportunities may not present as prettily as I would hope, but they are present and ready for me to accept.
By realizing “I do not perceive my own best interests” I can also realize that I cannot see the picture at large. Only Holy Spirit can envision this. If I activate trust in the Holy Spirit and His Voice, I will experience peace and I will experience the unfolding of what is in everyone’s best interest for awakening.
I don’t need a Plan A, Plan B, and down through the line to Plan Z. All the plans devised are to warrant safety in my life and to exert some control. I can never guess what His plan is except that it is always one of Love and to my Highest Good.
The ego knows not of this.
I trust and place my faith solely in His Hands. He holds my best interests at heart.